Naughty Little Teddy Bears...

Posted by jwsadmin on January 13, 2015

My late friend Pete Brown used to sing this often, with his own minor variations, of course, at the Foggs' various pub stops.

Teddy Bears Rave Up

If you go down in the woods today you better go in disguise.
If you go down in the woods today you're sure of a big surprise.
'Cos every bear that ever there was is gathered there for certain because
today's the day the Teddy Bears have their Rave Up.

There's Angel Bears who've come on their bike dressed in their leather gear.
There's gallons of Scrump all green with limps and 'orrible Watney's beer.
Yogi downed a pint of it quick, was very promptly 'orribly sick
and filled up both of Paddington's new wellies

Rave Up time for Teddy Bears.
The little Teddy Bears are having a lovely time today.
Grooving to those heavy sounds
that only Status Quo know how to play.
Cresta Bear is freaking out.
He's frothing Man, he's blown his little brain.
Rupert's spaced, he's on a trip. Winnie the Pooh is doing the strip.
They reckon he's on The Game.

Now every bear that's ever been good is sure of a treat today,
for Mummy and Daddy and Baby bear have found a new game to play.
Beneath the leaves where nobody sees there's Goldilocks tied up to a tree.
You bet your life she's getting more than porridge.

So if you go down in the woods today you better not go alone.
It's lovely down in the woods today, but safer to stay at home.
'Cos it's a really kinky scene, a big butch bear is playing the Queen
and they don't call him Sugar Puffs for nothing.

Rave Up time for Teddy Bears.
The little Teddy Bears are having a lovely time today.
Groping in the undergrowth,
Oh what would Enid Blyton have to say?
See them gaily stagger round, collapsing on the ground,
they haven't got any cares.
At 12 o'clock the coppers are coming to take them all away,
'cos they've been naughty little Teady Bears 

(Mudcat Credit: This was recorded by Fred Wedlock on his album Oldest Swinger in Town, with Chris Newman. I'm not sure whether he wrote it or if it's attributable to someone else.)

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